, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Thousands of parents of PPS students are expressing relief that there will be no strike this Friday. Earlier in the week when it was still presumed that the strike would occur, many parents were overwhelmed with appearing as if they cared. “As a parent I couldn’t be happier that I don’t have to pretend that I care about whatever my son is doing.” said Tori-Lee McOpioid. “Now I’m just happy they are out of the house and can just skip and play hookie or whatever. Not my problem. I don’t even think he was going to school anyway Friday, he may have been suspended, probably would just skip anyway. Who knows?”

To parents like Tori-Lee, this information could not be delivered at a better time. The potential of the strike itself was already costly. It is estimated that PPS parents had to spend an outrageous 12 minutes on average with an acting coach to get them prepared for a believable performance of a worried parent. Many parents did not have the financial ability to prepare for this. “I just don’t have the funds for that.” said Debbi Dad. “See I’m worried about how much money I’ll have left to spend at the state store for my alcohol. I couldn’t afford getting an acting coach to pretend like I cared. Plus there was also the worry of appearing sober which is too much of an inconvenience for me.”

Word the strike was averted was met with celebration as it means at least another 8 hours that parents don’t have to see their children. Some parents were planning on attending meetings on strike information scheduled for Wednesday as this information was released Tuesday. Though most parents did not attend the event a group of fathers of Pittsburgh Westinghouse Academy students met in the PPS administration building for the event. During the meeting they were alerted that the board had reached an agreement with the teachers union. There was nothing but silence in the room, probably illustrating how shocked they were. They celebrated in silence. The turnout to this event was one of the highest in years according to PPS officials, where most years there are a negative number of parents present.

Class Tables Classroom Chair Empty Chairs

Fathers of Pittsburgh Westinghouse Academy students (pictured above) meet in PPS administration building concerning news about averted strike.

Some parents weren’t even aware that there were talks of a strike even though local news media talked about it every 3 seconds. “I had no clue we were even considering striking. I think my daughter tried to talk to me or something about it. We got into a fistfight before she could explain. She should have remembered that I have hands. Won’t see her Friday though.” said teen mother Janisha White.

For now the strike is averted and parents won’t have to worry about pretending they care about their children.